


I had a thought, dear, however scary, about that night

by myrowkelow



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But I wrote it as a shy and soft romantic relationship, Can be read as Great Friendship or the Beginning of a Romance, Deeply rooted insecurities, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Talk of Blood Pact, Talk of Pact of the Blade, Two men talking about feelings and stuff, whatever floats your boat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22279486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrowkelow/pseuds/myrowkelow
Summary: ''Can I ask you a personal question, Fjord?'' He seemed lost in thoughts.''Of course.''''You remember when we were at Dashilla's lair?''___Or soft boys talking about Pacts and stuff.
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	I had a thought, dear, however scary, about that night

**Author's Note:**

> Title was taken from the song 'Like Real People Do' from Hozier.
> 
> I wanted Caleb and Fjord to have a short discussion about Pacts. It became a little bit of a Fjord's introspection and how a Wisdom of 7 can make you not aware of stuff.

Fjord never expected love to feel so... calm.

From what he had observed from his crewmates, from what he had read in books, from what he was told in stories and songs, Love was this grand, body consuming and inevitable end. It would knock you to your feet and drag you through impossible scenarios so you would forever follow your One True Love. Love would reign your life and render other people useless. After finding Love, you would not need friends, your world would be forever complete by your soulmate. No need for anybody else.

Love was made up to be such a Big Deal that he never imagined it could feel so... calm.

It took Fjord a long while to understand why he felt so much at peace. 

It never was something he was used to. He was a man of many words but lacked many experiences. It wasn't his fault: he traveled on ships most of his life, away from society and confined with many other folks who would rather keep to themselves until reaching the next port. Nothing wrong with that, Fjord felt the same. Do your job, keep your head down, keep your money safe.

Feeling at peace in the Xhorhouse was stupid. Yet, Fjord never felt more at home.

Home, another thing he didn't know much about.

He did not remember falling asleep sprawled on a couch in the library, book in hands and fire crackling peacefully in the fireplace. When his eyes finally opened, the book was now on the small table, red ribbon between pages, and the fire was slowly dwindling. He hummed to himself and heard the telltale sound of a page being turned.

''Did you sleep well?''

Fjord stretched ungracefully, forcing a Yeah through a yawn before letting himself flop back on the couch. ''Hope I didn't disturb your reading.'' His voice was still heavy with sleep and he could barely keep his eyes open.

Caleb huffed through his nose, somewhere behind him. A laugh, small, but a laugh.

''Ah, I can read anywhere. It was no problem.''

Fjord hummed, turning on his side and propping his head on the arm of the couch to look at Caleb.

''Was I snoring?''

'' _Ja_ , a little bit.'' Fjord was able to see the corners of Caleb's mouth rising slightly, still focused on his book. ''But it is nothing compared to Beauregard.''

Fjord mumbled an apologie that Caleb interrupted. He finally looked at Fjord.

''It was no problem, really. It was ah... It was peaceful.''

The half-orc mirrored the human, small smile playing on his lips. They stayed in comfortable quiet for a few moments longer, Caleb returning to his book and Fjord fighting sleep. Just as he was about to get up and excuse himself, Caleb broke the silence. He scratched at his stubbly cheek.

''Can I ask you a personal question, Fjord?'' He seemed lost in thoughts.

''Of course.''

''You remember when we were at Dashilla's lair?''

Fjord nodded, chin rubbing against the soft material of the couch. By just mentioning the lair, Fjord could feel his the skin surrounding the faint scar on his palm tingling. 

''I do.'' He paused, rubbing absentmindedly a finger over the scar. ''What about it?''

''What do you know about blood pact?'' Caleb asked.

Fjord paused at that, a long moment of just looking at the floor, thoughts wandering. Was that what they did, back then? A blood pact? For him, it was curiosity, deep-rooted curiosity. He needed to know what it was doing, whatever it was. His brow furrowed a bit before he sat up properly on the couch, mind still reliving their understanding at Dashilla's lair.

''I don't know much.'' He laughed faintly, unsure. ''I don't know much about any kind of pact if I'm being honest.''

He knew what was expected of his pact with Uk'otoa, but he did not _understood_ what it meant. Fjord could see Caleb's eyes were fixed on his hands.

''What do you know about them? Should we be worried?'' 

Caleb shook his head before meeting Fjord's gaze.

''Ah... I do not think so.''

''Because last time I made a pact, it was not really my choice and we all know how it ended up.''

Fjord rubbed at his chest where he could still feel the result of his falchion's bite in his moments of doubt, deep in the dark of night. His green skin healed in a nasty scar he did not allow Jester or Cadeucus to heal. He needed the reminder than he was his own man. Not puppeteered by some mysterious sea snake haunting his dreams.

Caleb huffed a small laugh, gaze finally meeting Fjord's. The half-orc smiled, small and private. The wizard did the same.

''If you must know, this, our pact,'' Fjord gestured between the two of them, for emphasis. ''Always meant more than whatever I had before. I don't regret any of it.'' 

The sincerity in his voice must have caught Caleb off guard. His lips became a thin line as the wheels of his mind stopped turning. Warmth bloomed in Fjord's chest, he felt calm, sure of himself.

''You got my back. I got yours.''

''We understand each other.'' Caleb echoed.

And Fjord smiled, at peace with his decision.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading!  
> Hope you enjoyed their little talk. I wanted it to be soft and vulnerable and I wrote it on a whim, listening to 'Like Real People Do' on repeat. 
> 
> And I'm super sorry for weird typos and sentences.


End file.
